REAL TALK

Sexual Assault Awareness Month 2018

It's almost the end of April - Sexual Assault Awareness Month. And instead of giving facts and figures, I want to speak directly to every person out there who is working hard to overcome this - whether you call it sexual assault, rape, molestation, going too far,...

How to be More of Yourself

In my last blog post, I shared a little back story on how I came to view confidence through this lens of being and experiencing rather than as a thing to have. This post is all about tangible strategies you can practice to lean into and become more of yourself. While...

Unequivocally Herself

I have a few thoughts on confidence.... When I was about 23, my boss came out of a meeting and, with a laugh, said, “Sofia* is unequivocally herself!” At the time, this simple statement stirred up so much in me. I had never heard anyone referred to in this way in my...

Bearing Witness to #MeToo

I’ve been a bit stalled on the writing front for the past few months...and I find it kind of fascinating. For a while I felt bad about not writing. But the more I sat with wondering where my writing mojo went, the more I learned about where some of my writing mojo...

7 Tips on How to Be There for People in Crisis

Like so many, my thoughts are with those affected by Hurricane Harvey. As the catastrophe continues to unfold people are wondering how to help. Offering your home, blood, money, time, effort and positive thoughts are all invaluable. Many are also wondering how to be...

Power Over Versus Power With

As a trauma therapist so much of my work is centered around power. Expanding the idea of power and cultivating personal power. Power Over: The Dominant View of Power Too often, when we think of power, we think of it in terms of power over. Power over resources. Power...

Stress + The 3 Sisters of Your Brain

For better or for worse, when we get stressed out so many of the activities we associate with being human are out of reach. We can’t seem think straight. Or connect the dots between ideas. Focus? SQUIRREL! The inner taskmaster? She’s clocked out for the day. What’s...

Boundaries as Structures for Freedom

Helping clients tune into, create, strengthen and maintain boundaries is a big part of my work. However, we may actually need to reframe the word “boundaries” to be effective at creating them. According to Merriam-Webster, a boundary is “something that indicates or...

Selling Self-Worth

A couple weeks ago, I was having a bún bowl with my pal, Lauren of Hope and Humor Therapy. Between noodle slurps, we got to talking about how many businesses tell you to buy their product as an “investment” in yourself. They might say, “you’re worth it” or “put...

Sorting Your Needs Through Ice Cream Goggles

Sometimes life’s a shithead. Handing us one thing after another. Not letting us catch a break. It becomes hard to keep up with basic things — like laundry. If we were to run a contest to determine the best ways to measure stress, laundry piles would surely be in the...

Resilience through Baby Moments of Connection

From Malta, my partner and I headed to Friuli, the region my partner is from, to visit family and attend a wedding. We had to take two planes to get to the Venice airport. Then it’s about an hour’s drive to his parent’s house. My partner’s brother, sister-in-law,...

5 Parallel Processes of Photography & Psychotherapy

Over the past few days, we have been exploring Malta. Some of the places here are older than the pyramids in Egypt. One of the places we loved is called Mdina (pronounced like you are saying the letter M then dina, not Medina). Mdina is a walled city that was founded...

Cotton Candy Could be the Trigger

I’ve been working in the domestic and sexual violence field formally for about 6 years. However, my experience with such things spans a lot longer time span. As such, I can’t help but view trauma, triggers, and our work from my own unique lens as a survivor. Before I...

Boundaries as an Act of Love

This is the second of a two-part series on boundaries. The first part maps out what healthy boundaries look like in general. Check it out and then come back here. In this post we are going to delve into what to do when we get stumped on how to assert healthy...

The Dance of Healthy Boundaries

Whether it’s divorcing a toxic parent or figuring out how to adult, boundaries can be tricky to navigate. Some of us have been fortunate to grow up in families with healthy boundaries. This allows us to know what kinds of questions to ask or expectations to set at the...

DIY Positive Affirmations

Every now and then we need to find a little way to challenge the negative thoughts that eek their way into our minds and prevent us from living into our full potential. Positive affirmations can help with this by reinforcing and strengthening the neural pathways of...