Each of us is designed to heal. For example, if you get a little scratch on your arm, you will bleed, but then the blood will clot to create a scab. Your body will also send some inflammation to the scratch to puff up the skin and help close the wound.
By all means, I am not the first person to say this and I definitely won’t be the last. Whether it’s a loss, a trauma, a difficult relationship or experience – healing occurs in spirals
We often get stumped by big feelings.
Feelings that may have been deemed “inappropriate” or “off-limits” during our upbringing.
Feelings that our attachment figures didn’t know what to do with – therefore, we don’t know what to do with them.
Feelings that cultural norms throw shade on.
Culture tells us that emotions make us weak, soft or broken if in abundance. This narrative will have us believe that there is something wrong with us when feeling emotional and it can lead us to disconnect from ourselves.
Everyone is saying to vote right now and I think it’s hard to feel motivated to go vote when our political system is so complex and you might not know where to start.
While hanging out in turtle mode, I realized that perpetration has actually been in power for a long time.
In session, my clients say the most amazing things. Things that help others hear their hearts and foster closeness.
EMERGE: I’ve been quiet lately.
I’ve needed to be.
The last several weeks have been really hard. And alongside my fellow survivors and allies I’ve felt disheartened, rage, betrayal, concern, triggered, etc.
So, I went inward into my more pensive self. I gave difficult feelings the presence they needed in an effort to process them. I cried, slept, did nothing at times and overall took extra space for self-care. All in turtle mode.
We repeat what we do not heal.
Trauma is like a legacy.
I’m originally from Austin, Texas (yes, I know, I’m a unicorn) but I left for several years for grad school and stayed gone for a bit longer for love.
There’s a lot of talk about being trauma informed. And trainings. I’ve taken a lot of them.
By all means, a structured way to learn about common ways people feel safe or unsafe related to specific experiences is important.
However, I would caution anyone from getting prescriptive with this kind of information. It’s not simply a laundry list of what to do or not to do – it’s truly a way of being.
This past year, I participated in an intensive training called DEEP. DEEP is a fusion of attachment theory, somatic approaches, trauma therapy and depth psychology in an experiential therapeutic approach . And, so much is still sinking in for me.
One of the things I’ve had to rethink in this experience is the idea of having “no boundaries.” We say this a lot – about ourselves, other people, you name it.
We say this word all the time.
And we often assume a positive meaning.
However, in my recent trip to Rome, I was reminded that this word is mainly a qualifier of something else. It implies magnitude, not inherently positivity.
This past weekend, I got to hang out with several friend-colleagues that I absolutely adore and respect among the trees and mountains in Washington.
Mother’s Day is not just for mothers of humans. It’s for all of us.