Hope & Attachment

Hope & Attachment

We’ve all had moments of feeling let down when we “got our hopes up” about something. And, I get it. It hurts. We often feel like there’s something wrong with us for having hope in the first place. But I don’t feel like hope is always the...
Real Relationships Aren’t Always Pretty

Real Relationships Aren’t Always Pretty

Sometimes in our attempts to foster healthy relationships we can get a little avoidant of conflict. Or unforgiving of someone saying the wrong thing or even having an intention we don’t agree with. In our discomfort (or downright dismay) we can get to a place of...
Overcoming the Shoulds

Overcoming the Shoulds

The shoulds show up a lot, don’t they? And they make us feel so disempowered. I see my clients regularly get caught up in shoulds. I even see them notice and call out the shoulds. But even in doing so it can be hard to figure out how to be less subjected to...
Your Life, Your Choices

Your Life, Your Choices

I often hear clients talk about the not-so-subtle shoulds that loved ones sling their way. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “What does your therapist say?” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “You’re barking up the wrong tree.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “You just need to get over it.”...
Defiance Doesn’t Have to Be Bad

Defiance Doesn’t Have to Be Bad

Defiance often gets a bad rap, but, like many things life, it can actually be a really useful quality. How many social justice movements have been propelled by defiance? If you’ve grown up in an oppressive household, wouldn’t defiance be useful? ⠀ One of...
Internal VIPs

Internal VIPs

We all have people in our lives who we’ve internalized to some extent – like parents, mentors, parents of choice, partners, friends, etc. These are called attachment figures. Parents and caregivers will have the strongest role initially in our lives. The...
There’s No Such Thing as TMI in Therapy

There’s No Such Thing as TMI in Therapy

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – there’s no such thing as tmi in therapy. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I wanna know all about your poop problems. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Sexy mishaps. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The thoughts that pop in and scare you and feel unmentionable. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ That embarrassing...
Healing is Within You

Healing is Within You

Each of us is designed to heal. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ For example, if you get a little scratch on your arm, you will bleed, but then the blood will clot to create a scab. Your body will also send some inflammation to the scratch to puff up the skin and help close the wound....
Healing in Spirals

Healing in Spirals

By all means, I am not the first person to say this and I definitely won’t be the last.⁣ ⁣ Whether it’s a loss, a trauma, a difficult relationship or experience – healing occurs in spirals.⁣ ⁣ When we are acutely in a difficult life experience it can...
Honor Big Feels

Honor Big Feels

We often get stumped by big feelings.⁣ ⁣ Feelings that may have been deemed “inappropriate” or “off-limits” during our upbringing.⁣ ⁣ Feelings that our attachment figures didn’t know what to do with – therefore, we don’t know...